Shopping

I am pretty sure I experienced dumping today. This was like no IBS attack I had ever had.

I had planned to meet my brother at Home Depot to look at flooring (we are pitching in to help re-do some of the flooring in our parents’ house). I realized that I had not had anything for breakfast yet and that I needed to take my vitamins, which are much easier to take with the protein than with just water. I quickly mixed up a protein shake with some Fat Free Fairlife milk (this stuff is amazing and adds extra protein to the drink – yes, it adds a little extra calories too but it dulls the sweetness of the protein shake and makes it a little thicker and was easier to drink for me). I sipped that and left. On my way to meet him, I realized what time it was. I had drank that shake in about 35 minutes. I didn’t think anything of it because it went down okay and I felt fine. We did our hunting around in Home Depot and picked out some things, but as we were saying goodbye and leaving the store, it hit me. I had a hard time holding it in on my way home. I only live a few miles from that particular Home Depot but it was crazy Halloween traffic and there was an accident on the road I needed to take. It was the longest 10 minute car ride home. I got home and was in the bathroom for about 15 minutes. Holding in liquids like that is something I had not really experienced. Even with IBS attacks, those were nothing compared to what I endured on the ride home. I’m pretty sure I was convincing my body out loud to “just hang in there” and reassuring it that “we’ll be home shortly”.

I also did feel a bit dehydrated when I woke up as well so this may have contributed to the dumping. I have been pushing fluids all day, but just feel weak and like I don’t want to drink anything anymore. I very much understand the importance of the fluid intake and I do not want to become dehydrated. This liquid diet is frustrating me indeed. I like food. I like textures and flavors. I do get some different flavors by using flavor enhancers in my water (Stur – made with Stevia), sugar-free popsicles (soon as the first box we bought wasn’t sugar-free so my boyfriend ate all of those), and sugar-free jello. It just gets boring drinking all day long and since I have been able to be out and about more, it gets in the way of doing things. It is strange to me to be sipping on my water bottle while shopping. It is, however, what must be done. This is only temporary and I am allowing my body to heal properly so that when I can eat foods again, it will be glorious.

I went shopping today for some craft supplies (mostly just checking out the fall and Halloween clearance items). My mom called and chatted with me before I went into Michaels. We talked a little before about the way I was writing things down and keeping track of my journey. She suggested a smash book since they were on clearance. These are little mini albums that are put together when you purchase them. They come with blank patterned pages. You can buy many different kinds of additional pages (themed, address book, calendar, etc.) as well as embellishments and photo holders. I bought one with a bunch of accessories to go with it. I plan on making that my weight loss surgery journey book. I have before pictures and I will take periodic pictures as well up through the first year then we’ll see from there.

It is now 7:30 in the evening and I still just feel drained. I have been really trying to get fluids down, but I just have no appetite and feel bloated and full. I also am beginning to struggle a little with the smells that come out of our kitchen. My boyfriend loves to cook and he cooks really well. He cooks Food Network worthy food occasionally and it is getting tougher to smell it and not want to jump in with a fork and eat it up. I really have to keep reminding myself that this is temporary and necessary for healing. The time will come sooner than I think that I will be able to eat again.

I have homework to work on and a surgery journal to work on.